What a question. And what awesome timing to ask it now. Life, breakups, joy, love, pain, disappointment, big plans, falling apart, when life reminds you that you are not the one in charge of EVERYTHING.
How do you deal with it?
Step one: Fall down. Suffer. Struggle. Get your feet swept from under you. Become the victim. Cry and ask “why me?” Cry more and remind yourself that it used to better. Tell yourself that things are not what you thought they would be. Lament over the fact that before you were so certain, buzzing with aliveness, full of answers, and teaching them to the world. Before you were indestructible… Or were you?
Step two: A moment of lucidity. Recognize that if you really believed all those things, then this, this purgatory, is not an acceptable outcome. Recognize that these low quality thoughts lead to a life that is not life, but rather, a slow death. Even if you cannot see it, even if your mind is clouded with thoughts that block the light, you know the light is there. And you are determined to reach it. Lost but lucid.
Step three: Ask the right questions. Make plans. TAKE ACTION. What do you want? What do you “miss”? How can you cultivate it once more? Who are you? Who “were” you? What can you do? What are you afraid of? How can you face it? Who can you talk to? Where can you go to seek answers? Where can you go to remind yourself of the truths you know deep down are of the greatest value? Plan, schedule, make appointments, reach out, make phone calls, get dressed, stumble where once you were strong.
Step four: Joyful Acceptance. Begin to awaken to the truth. The truth is, step one – suffering, IS in fact, step one of this glorious process of growth. You could not arrive here, blossoming into new higher versions of yourself, without taking each step of this amazing, soul-exposing journey. You see, when you are at your highest, your peak, when you think you have it all figured out, when you think you have reached the top – you have nowhere left to go. Growth is no longer possible. But a life well lived is one of constant growth. It is by definition a journey with no end, for those of us with enough courage to truly be the Heroes of epics. God, the Universe, saw you in your glory and decided that you were strong enough to move to the next level. The Universe sees when you are strong enough to face new lessons, to confront new impossible challenges, and when you need them to grow more. You are ready to be broken down, you have what it takes to rise again as something more intelligent, more whole, more empowered. By breaking you down, the Universe is welcoming you back, closer to the divine source within you. It is an invitation to your higher Self. Feel honoured. Accept that before you felt intense gratification with life, and at this moment here and now, you don’t. And in this moment, that is perfect. Accept that where once you felt certainty and comfort, now you feel uncertainty and confusion. And in this moment, that is how it is now, and that’s perfect. With joyful acceptance of these things, you no longer feel inner turmoil. Because your current thoughts and beliefs now match your current reality. Suddenly, without having to change or believe or understand anything, you feel inner harmony. Right here, right now.
Step five: Stay the course. Breathe in and out from your heart. Deep down, by now, you know what you need to do today. You heart, it’s intelligence and intuition, knows what direction you should be walking. You still have your previous goals and plans to guide you. Focus on the steps. Take them. Let go of your fears of not being accepted, of not being perfect, of not knowing exactly who you are or what you think. Now is the time for searching, for joyful uncertainty. Search, create, do, seek. Be content that now is not the time for gratification, now is the time for searching. Because it’s not comfortable, because you don't know everything, because you're not “there” now... This is true adventure. You are a true hero now.
… And for those of us who see ourselves as teachers, leaders, healers… Do not think less of yourself here in this place. You are a teacher, a leader, a healer of human beings. It is your beating heart, your flesh and blood, your monkey mind, that give you the power to know what it means to be human. It is that understanding and compassion of human vulnerability, and the courage to continue onward, that qualifies you to do what you do. Embrace your imperfections, move forward amongst your fears. You are a true hero now.